"Payback" time >


Hi People !
A bit a long post, but I wanted to make myself a present today, so I just wrote it.
Hope nobody minds about that.

Today I am happy:
Not only because it’s Friday, but also because it is a nice day in my “Trading Journey”.

For sure for many of you, more experienced Traders, that’s nothing special at all, I can well understand it.
But for me it is a probably very important Milestone I was looking for.

No, I am not starting Trading Full Time – unfortunately still Light Years far away from that.
Just something “small”, but made me happy and I worked for this.

I would like therefore to Thank ALL the great People here, sharing concepts of Price Reading I never saw before, which for sure helped me to do what I did.

I found here lots of Knowledge and also very Nice People too, who today are my Friends and I hope will be for a long Time.

I would also like to share my experience with you “People like me”, still at the beginning of the Way, with the hope to may give you a bit of motivation to continue to get up again.

Some will probably think I am doing it for the usual “Need” of some of us to show “how good I am”.
Well, you surely have the right to think what you wish, but No, that’s not my reason.
Really no need anymore for that.

If there’s even only one Trader out there, thinking in this moment to “ not be good enough” or “ should quit and forget it”, well my hope is to may give a message to that Trader: you are wrong.
You probably still just need some time and Study to find your way.
And with Peace in Mind, you MUST get up again.

I like Rocky’s sentence: “It ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done”

It’s a long way, today I understand it to be tiled with lots of Patience, Waiting, Compromises to be accepted (which belong to Patience perhaps and are not at all something bad. Instead I discovered “compromises” in Trading to be a Virtue of your own “Psychological Balance”, a way of communication with the Market and your Trading Style), Discipline.
A way of a kind of Meditation may be ?

…not at all….

In my opinion, the way is something very Silent, is your own “Balance”.
To find that “Comfortable Area” for you, probably the famous “Zone” ?

I think it may be a wide Zone, of your Psychology, showing yourself – and just yourself- who you are.
And leading you to take your best possible Trading Decisions.

To find the Lot size you feel nice with, to be able to recognize and wait for the setups you like most and don’t get too much involved in all small details, which may be the “Zone” for someone else, but not necessarily for you too.

Ok, to the story:

My Vision (like most of us) is to one day Trading for Living, but I know (like most of us) that to achieve that you need a certain starting capital, allowing you to Trade “comfortably” with a Lot size that can, at the end of the month, ensure you and your Family a decent Life.

I don’t have that amount, so I was hoping to may find a professional trader (or a trusted Fund :-D ) who could trade and grow for me a small account of money, so that I could learn from his trades and at the same time gain some money during I am at work.
Paying of course the due fee, it’s a business, nothing bad with that.

But it really seems not so easy to find somebody ready to do that, showing you to be really profitable and having neither something to hide, nor the fair to fail in front of others.
Anyway I have a project in my mind, and I think I’ll do it when I’ll be able to.

The Simple Story is that at the beginning of August I funded a real account, because I thought I found someone, and agreed what was to agree.

Nothing very impressive, therefore I don’t really think to have the need to hide anything and can use the real numbers to explain.
It was 2000 Euro, that changed into a USD account became (deducted the costs) 2.071 USD.
For me enough money, for many surely one day Trading or even less.

I will neither say who this trader is, nor I would ever allow myself to say either he is a good trader or not.
I am not here to judge.

What I can only say is that after about 40 / 50 trades I was down more than I expected.
It was not what I was expecting from a trader I was thinking profitable.

Of course, a losing raw may surely happen, but in my case I had really too many loser and too less winners.
Very different than the posts I saw somewhere.

The balance was going down day after day for about one month.
So I decided (fully in Peace with him) to quit his service and to try take myself the boat under control.

I did it.
I recovered the loss.

He was trading 0.2 mini lots, I decided instead to trade 0.1 and I could recover anyway all in a not too long time, even a bit more than my starting capital on the balance.

THEN, ONE DAY, THE TRAGEDY: I installed the MT4 of my broker on my pc at work.

As you surely all know, when you open the first time a Trade on your brand new MT4, the standard Lot Size shown is 1.0 lots….and you have to adjust it the first time, after that it remains in the memory of the MT4.

On my phone and on my pc at home I was used (during the recovery time) to trade 0.1 and didn’t even look anymore at the settings….just buy or sell.
So I took a long from my pc at work….with 1 Full Lot !!!

Price went like a STONE against me in a second… someone said “ and then Murphy’s Law got enforced “.
Nothing more True than that!

200, 300, 400 lost…probably some news I didn’t check before…

I didn’t set a fixed SL (as I actually admit I still don’t do with my 0.1 mini lot even if all “schools” say you have to set it even before entering the trade) but in that case I lost my control…
I was HOPING price to get back to my entry or near… (and someone else said “ when in your Trading there’s any kind of HOPE than something is wrong with your Trading”)

I was just not ready yet to change my Way.

I started to think “ what the F..ck I did to my Family…2K are for us much money…all my hopes…and I am going to give them to some other Trader today… for what ??? “

You probably know what you can be able to think in those situations.
You start to think: Ok, at this point All or Nothing… Back to the Entry or Margin Call… Like a Kamikaze…

…Probably at this point I did something which changed my Trading Way for ever:
- with a loss of 1.330 Usd….I closed the Trade… -

I was DESTROYED inside…. I had now 818 Usd on the account and a Soul in Pieces inside…

But I didn’t accept anymore the Kamikaze way… took my destiny in MY hands, not in the Market ones…

I went in Zen Meditation :-) for a short time and decided to start from there again….but with a clear mind.
No revenge at all.
Just Trading.

Today I achieved it.
I got back to my starting balance, and stopped trading today for this reason.
Just to sit a moment and look around.
That’s the reason of my post.
In exactly two months since my loss, I achieved it.

I learned really very much from that Loss.
One of my now surely best Friends told me: “ you must learn to Gift the Market for a Lesson”.
Today I know he was right.
I am glad now of that mistake AND of my Decision Point to Close that loser…

I have started to be patient, calm, to do it just step by step, to accept that even with 1 pip a day I could have brought me there.
No Stress.
No Rush.
A kind of “quiet and serene positive humility “.

To understand that it’s not about posting charts, but about making money.

I got my “Mantra”….don’t be greedy…keep your mind free and cool…there’s no reason to let a winner get into a loser… (I actually had also several trades with really 1 or 2 pips...)

Time, Patience, Discipline and …very important for me… comfortable Lot Size (because I had some DD and do not shame at all. I know I will learn to reduce them, but I was ready to close again in loss if the DD was getting over the “logical possible level”.

After a certain time I started thinking: am I may be just “ Lucky” ???
Well, may be. I still don’t know it and have no need to find it out.
Or I perhaps just searched for the “simple” way.

Trying to filter out lots of for me not useful information and looking for my “easy trades” only.
98% of them are only on Eur/Usd.
All with 0.1 mini lots.

Someone very near to me (my Wife >:D ) told me:
I am now curious to see how you will Trade AFTER the recover, because you will have not that goal anymore in front of you.

Very Very good question.
I am curios too, but that told me that perhaps what I need to do now is to set a new Goal to achieve.
I will do it.

Now is time to reinforce the Patience, the Knowledge that “ I am not that good”, that I cannot allow myself to fall into the Trap of thinking “I got it, I can do it”, but “Flying low” as we say in Italy.
Step by Step.
I know there is still much to learn and to learn to control in my Trading, but I think I know more or less after these two months, what I have to adjust.
And I have perhaps now the right calm state of mind for doing it seriously.

That’s all Friends.
I’ll enjoy this weekend and let’s see what the future brings.

I attached below two charts to explain all in the easiest way.

One is with the whole history.
The second is the analysis of my Trading since “ The Day After “ till today.

Ok, now I have to say it. It is also a little bit to tell myself:
“Good Job Whenever !
I think that if you don’t do anything crazy, you could be on the right track….”

Thank You All, first of All the Group of Great People starting this Forum and this Project.


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